Visioning

Posted by The Divine Cowgirl on April 6th, 2009 at 04:23pm

I was talking with a friend the other day and was stuck by her reticence to imagine the next steps in her life.   A few years earlier she had imagined a life in another country, and was excited about the adventure.   The problem was that it came to pass.  And in accepting the adventure, it didn’t turn out as she had imagined.  In fact she felt stuck by her commitment and in some ways she felt betrayed by the journey itself.  Now in light of her year in a 3^rd world country she is afraid to imagine again – what if her next vision didn’t work out either???

Often we create fantasy and happily ever after visions.  We think that what we imagine will be more perfect than what we are experiencing in our life.  And when the reality of our vision doesn’t turn out, we become afraid to exercise our imagination again.  In our judgment of what has transpired, we curl up like an armadillo, tightly guarding our soft and tender underbelly.

Another friend was sharing a vision she had created five years ago – it included a condo in the mountains, grandchildren and a lover.  At the time she imagined this idea there was nothing on the horizon of grandchildren, lover or mountain retreat.  In the original vision she had imagined owning the mountain retreat.  The other day she came across the notebook that held the original vision after having spent a weekend in a mountain condo with her two beautiful grandchildren, families and lover.  She was very grateful she didn’t own the mountain condo and decided that having everyone there together was difficult in that she felt split and torn about wanting individual time with everybody.  For her it was an exercise in gratitude and clarity.  

In my own life, visioning has had powerful impact.  From early in my teens, I lived, breathed and dreamed horses, owning a barn, competing and participating in top equestrian events.  The summer I turned sixteen, I spent in Canada at an Olympic contender’s barn.  Part of Canada’s 3-day event trails for the 72’ Munich Olympics were held at this stable.  I even helped to condition one of the horses that did compete in Munich.

What was extraordinary was the synchronicity that brought me to my first ever professional equine job.  I had bought a horse earlier that year and the trainer I bought the horse from recommended that I go and receive training from the barn I eventually apprenticed at.  To be honest, this shy Eastern Washington cowgirl didn’t even really know what 3-day eventing was, let alone understand the level of horsemanship she was stepping into.

Was it as I imagined?  Yes and NO!!!   I learned amazing things in terms of practical horsemanship – grooming, cleaning tack, mucking stalls, braiding and other groom like skills.  On the human level, I learned that one has to take care themselves in the big world.  And I took a huge step in getting over my intense shyness.  I can honestly say my first summer away from home was a lesson in life as well as a lesson in power, money and politics.  

Looking back I am not sure if I had a daughter, and know what I know,  I would  let her spend the summer with this barn.  As the one who participated, I gained the power to believe in myself.  

Having visioned many other experiences into my life, what I know for sure is that the call of the heart is the carrot.  It is the incentive to put yourself out there.  It is an opportunity to grow and even discover more of who you really are.  We all make meaning about our life experiences. We can name them good or not so good.    What I have learned is that life calls and it is our choice to invest ourselves in answering the call.  I believe our passions are planted in our heart to motivate us to step into life.  I also know that I wasn’t born with a guarantee stamped across my forehead.  Nobody says life is a fairy tale with “happily after” as part of the experience.    

When was the last time you allowed yourself to vision, to dream and allow your vision to unfold?  This cowgirl has had many times to exercise her courage muscle and step boldly into the life she imagined.  I am sure she will have many more.  But one thing is for sure, IF I don’t let myself dream, to vision the life I want to live – it will never happen.  I am willing to deal with the risks.. Living life full out is worth it!

Exercise:  Block some time for a quiet morning or afternoon.  Brew a cup of tea or coffee and curl up with a notebook.  Let yourself imagine on paper the life you would like to live into.  No holding back.  No censoring what wants to be written.  Allow yourself to dream big – what would you be talking about, what would you feel, and what would you experience?  

Ya never know what life is trying to unfold – give yourself permission to say YES!

Happy trails,

The Divine Cowgirl

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