Riding the energy of e-motion

Posted by The Divine Cowgirl on May 11th, 2009 at 01:18pm

Horses like humans have emotions. Some days they simply get up on the wrong side of the stall or pasture. Just like humans they can have attitude. They can also experience depression, stress, exuberance and joy. The difference between horse and human is how long those emotions last or are revisited. Horses have a moment and then they are fully present in the next. Humans on the other hand seem to like to hang out in certain emotions or are so disconnected to themselves that they don’t even recognize that emotion exists in them.

As a culture we seem to avoid emotions. We don’t talk about them, connect to them or use them as guidance and information in relationships. If anything we are good at suppression, repression and depression.

My family certainly didn’t talk about their strong emotions nor did they want me to express what I was feeling. The only acceptable emotion was anger. That was displayed in words and action. Occasionally a dabble of happiness would cross our family group, usually short lived or by passed by irritation, grouchiness and sometimes resentment. Yes, there was love in the form of caring but affection in my younger years was neither modeled nor shared much.

In the 80’s my brother and I participated in a self-development program. We both gained new perspective and new tools for exploring emotions. My mother begged us not to take the class as she felt that she would be left behind. I told her she could take the course too. She did and it opened doors for her. She discovered she was a person and her feeling counted. I discovered my mother could receive affection and could also share affection with others. It changed our relationship profoundly.

Later in my master’s program I discovered a whole new language and nuance of emotions. In one class we were to tell what we were feeling in any given moment. One of the group members had his handy dandy clip board ready with all the feeling words on it so that he could identify and name a feeling. It was rather funny at the time and yet it spoke volumes about even the language of emotions can be a foreign in our culture.

For me, I began to crack the door on the emotions I had so handily stuff into my body. At first it felt overwhelming and I wanted to stuff them all back into where they had been exiled. However, just like the barn door, once open the horse is out.

I am still sorting it all out. And in times of anxiety I sometimes resort to stuffing with food. However I have learned to pause and reflect. I am discovering emotions don’t take up residence unless I let them. I can even discover what lies beneath the emotion and shift to a new awareness. I have learned that journaling is my best friend. It allows me to see what is lurking beneath my awareness and allows me to work through what I am feeling on paper.

As much as I am learning about emotions, I am learning more about unlearning. It is amazing the power of the family system in successfully indoctrinating family members into how emotions and feeling are addressed. I strive to be more like my horses. To feel the energy of the emotion and let it flow right on through me. I am determined to be more present to myself so that I can be more present to others.

The energy of e-motion is powerful. Anger can move us to action. Love can guide our compassion and empathy. It is only when I am aware and connected to the emotion that I can use it consciously rather than be driven by it unconsciously.

I wonder where you are in connecting to your feelings. I wonder if you are willing to explore the full range of emotions and allow yourself to fully feel. My story is Divine Cowgirls strive to be in the present moment. They commit to being present to themselves and to use their feeling as a navigation system to guide their lives. If you haven’t opened that barn door and checked out what feelings you have been avoiding, maybe now is the time.

Let me know what you discover.

The Divine Cowgirl

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Tags: energy of e-motion, horse emotions, human emotion

Under Divine Cowgirl+ Horse+ Relationship+ With ourselves