Focusing on the Right End of Things

Posted by LeeAnn on June 23rd, 2009 at 02:58pm

Focusing On The Right End Of Things

Ok, so I was an early cowgirl adopter. And horses were and continue to be my passion. And I was always attracted to the right end of things even while my father worked hard at preventing such things!

From the moment I could walk and talk it was always horses. My mother tells the story of having to tie down the plastic rocking horse to a sheet of plywood so that I couldn’t ride it through the plate glass window.

I dreamt horses, played horses, read and studied about horses and finally, at thirteen, was given my first horse. That was the start of thirty plus years of intense learning and studying relationship with horses.

While I joke at the idea of “focusing on the right end of things” – there is a serious side to that saying. In the horse world people tend to focus on the head of the horse. They think that beauty is created by the bridle, an external source and leverage. There are those that think that gimmicks rather than understanding and development are the answer to getting what they want. And they are not interested in the impact of their impatience and ignorance on the relationship with the animal; or the physical and emotional effect of their action to the animal itself.

When we use and abuse another through our ignorance in search of a vicarious experience of “winning,” we are focused on the wrong end of things.

To be focusing on the “right end of things” means to focus on the “how” another living creature, ( be it horse or human) learns, develops the requisite muscle and emotional maturity to perform what is being asked of it. In the horse world elegant carriage is developed through the hindquarters of the horse. The horse must learn to carry both its self and rider by engaging the hindquarters. Elegance and collection comes from the horse mentally and physically developing to the point self carriage is achieved. In this paradigm the animal learns the confidence and physical strength to carry its self in a beautiful way.

When the bridle is seen as the source of forcing the horse to bend its body in a certain way, the animal begins to look for ways to relieve the pain caused by force. It learns to evade. In the process of evasion it develops physical ailments caused by stress and an attempt to get away from the pain.

If you were to watch two horses performing – one having been developed with patience and attention to the mental and physical needs of the animal and one who was forced into the “frame” through coercion – it would be evident which performed from internal joy and exuberance.

In the human world we also focus on the wrong end of things. As women we focus on external validation of who we are. We allow others to define us; to validate our worth. We allow the external world to tell us what size we should be, what beauty is, what work has value, and other measurements from the cultural collective.

I have been exploring what it means to move toward my heart’s desire. Maybe it is what happens once we cross the threshold of fifty. All I know is that I am far less interesting in external validation and judgment and far more interested in discovering what my soul wants to express in this life time.

I do know that I have subjected myself to external measurements that have lead to a whole lot of dissatisfaction in my life. In certain parts of my life I did go for my dreams only to find myself straddling the fence between what others thought I should be doing and what my heart wanted. My heart lost on several occasions.

Whose rules are you playing by?

What end of things are you focused on?

Is it time to express your joy and exuberance? If not now, when?

The Divine Cowgirl

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