The Thing about Fences

Posted by LeeAnn on July 6th, 2009 at 01:50pm

If you have either lived on a farm or been around a stable, fences are part of the deal. And there are all types and styles of fences. From hot wire, to post and rail, to panels, to pipe and in the old west days – barb wire was the fence of choice.

Fences define boundaries. They keep things in and out both literally and metaphorically. Over the years I have had a few horses that have had interesting relationships with fences. Take the mischievous Highland pony gelding. (For those who are not familiar with the breed – they look like small draft horses)

He was part of a summer camp program and was supposed to be a great driving pony. As it turned out he was for the wranglers, not the campers. Several times a week, finding himself bored, he’d back into the split rail fence, sit on the fence until it broke and then take his buddies for a two mile jaunt into town. The small post office/convenience store owner (the whole of the town) would call for an immediate pick up that included the pick of piles left in the parking lot. I’d gather a couple of counselors, the necessary implements to clean up and the jeep and off we’d go to collect the head trouble maker and his 18 or so companions.

My story was that he just didn’t have much respect for fences. He really fancied himself a traveler, requiring much more space and than a mere 20 plus acres.

Then there was Close Call, my anglo-arab gelding. Call had the “greener pasture” syndrome. He had the longest neck on his 16.2 hh body and used it to reach well beyond his immediate space. We had a lovely fenced pasture topped with a hot wire. He would use a whisker to test if the hot wire was on or off. For a while the hot wire kept him from leaning over the fence, usually breaking the top rail in search of a better tasty morsel than was on the inside of the boundary. His toleration for getting shocked increased to the point that he didn’t bother even testing the wire anymore, rather he would go straight to the business of rearranging the rail to his liking. The problem was that for his safety he needed to stay inside the fence and not create a situation in which he and his pasture mate found themselves on a busy highway dodging traffic. Finally I hooked the hot wire to a car battery and waited for his now immediate fence popping strategy. I let him lean right into that hot wire and then started the car. I never knew a horse could sit down so quickly or reverse course in such a dramatic fashion. I’ll give him one thing; he never challenged the fence again.

Probably my favorite story was a white Arabian stallion who loved to tease and torment his adjacent run mate, another stallion. This guy would pretend to put his face through the rail; however in the spaces between the rails were strands of hot wire. These guys could “face fight” over the top just not through the rails below. This particular stallion worked it until his mate would get a zing and then would do the “gottcha” dance in celebration of his masterful manipulation. Horses have the same reaction to being topped in a teenage show of male superiority. After sulking for a bit it was back to the game.

In the human world, we play with invisible fences. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they are not there. Healthy boundaries are necessary for each of us to grow into our version of ourselves. Boundaries mean we can say “I” rather than be pressured into saying “we.” When we create our own pasture so to speak, our fences create the definition of self. Our fences can be permeable or imposing fortress walls. We make and keep our fences based on our conscious or unconscious awareness.

In healthy families fence lines may be adjacent with a shared gate. In enmeshed families separate fences lines are not permitted. Fences become impermeable stockade walls keeping out any ideas that challenge the family system ideas and imprisoning members with threats of cut off, or lack of approval.

Horses tend to push the limits imposed. Take the three stories I presented above. The pony really did need adventure and a group of friends to join him. Close Call believed there was something better in the next pasture. (An interesting side note – later he was housed in two adjoining pastures – it didn’t matter which pasture he was in – he always wanted to stretch himself into the other one) And the Arabian stallion loved to teased or push on the boundaries of another.

As a Divine Cowgirl, examining your own boundaries and questioning why the boundary exists is part of the journey. Sometimes fences lines need to be renegotiated, moved, mended, or even posts reset. Just because a fence was made doesn’t mean it doesn’t require attention and even question as to why it actually exists over time. Even the fencing material might need to be changed.

The true journey of a cowgirl is mindfulness. It is about attention and awareness rather than unconscious and unquestioned rules for living. Life is a game of change, renewal and upgrade. How are your fences? Do they need your attention and focus? Are they in good repair? Are they a healthy metaphor for your life?

Happy trails,
The Divine Cowgirl

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Tags: define boundaries, fences, horses, inner journey, invisible fences

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