Dark Night of the Soul

Posted by LeeAnn on October 19th, 2009 at 11:59am

This past week has been filled with people sharing their “dark night of the soul.” That time when we find ourselves on our knees, when all our old tricks just don’t seem to work. In one case the person hit the wall of grief. For another, their soul just said ‘NO” to the life they had been living; leading to hitting the wall of depression.

As humans we like certainty. We like secure routine. We like knowing what to expect. In fact I have noticed we do everything possible to mitigate surprise. We have done such a great job; risk management has done way with legacy traditions like high swings in parks just in case we are surprised by injury. At a dinner the other night a former camp director shared that in an exit interview when asked her greatest regret, she replied that she wished she had fought harder to keep the lake swing. The tradition of generations had ended in one risk management decision.

It’s not just physical safety we try to prevent. It is emotional and spiritual safety too. We want relationships without betrayal. We want a God that intercedes against any kind of disappointment. Instead of embracing The Mystery of Life, we want a signed and sealed script.

Dark night’s of the soul forces us to go deeper into relationship with the mystery. They shake us out of borrowing someone else’s idea of our life and dump us squarely into the scary place of finding our own.

I have been following Barbara Winter’s work at www.joyfullyjobless.com. While I haven’t asked her directly if she ever experienced doubt, anxiety or fear about launching into the unknown, I suspect that she had her moments. What I have followed is her passion; her passion to be a guide to others wanting to discover their own path.

I think the dark night is a corking popping celebration! It is our soul getting our attention about shedding our encasement of other people’s ideas, judgments and opinions. There is no class offered about the signs and symptoms of the dark night, only notes left by those who have lived their way into the mystery – Annie Oakley; Saint Frances Assisi; Joan of Arc; Mother Teresa and the list goes on…

The exit from the dark night found by the quality of the question we ask ourselves. Rather than: Why is this happening to me? Maybe the question is more like: What is my soul’s highest idea of my life? What is trying to come forth – what possibilities or new ideas? Do I trust the process or worry abut what other’s will think if I follow where I am being lead?

Have you had a dark night of the soul? Have you started a new path? If so would you share your story?

Dark nights of the soul are not contagious. There is no vaccine to prevent its onset. If you are committed to unfolding your highest and best life, it will require moments of uncertainty. If you have read Eat, Pray, Love by Melissa Gilbert – her dark night lead to a whole year of adventure. I thought it was pretty good!

Until next time,

Happy trails…

leeann_sg