How to Have a Bad Day Well

Posted by LeeAnn on October 5th, 2009 at 01:49pm

I know you have them; the day where nothing turns out remotely close to what you have imagined. Last Monday was one of those days. No matter what I did, it just didn’t work. I cleaned the carpets on Sunday, on Monday my dog was sick. I called to make sure that I had the correct information to complete a task in town, made a special trip to town, and was told I didn’t have the correct information. And then there was dinner. I have been cooking meals to entice my elderly mother into eating; I asked her if she liked chicken and in particular drumsticks. Of course she said; so I cooked the meal only to be told she hates chicken and in particular drumsticks.

I know that “it” had been building in me; the melt down, and sure enough it showed up. Life is much easier when things are flowing my way. And…… what I have noticed is that life has a way of following Its own plan. It is easy to have faith when life gives me what I want. It is much more difficult to have faith in the dark or in the experience I was in resistance to.

Do you know how to have a bad day well? There are a few tricks in my bag for “dealing” with bad days. The usuals – take 20 connected breaths, rock in my rocking chair until I find my center, journaling, taking a walk, taking a long hot shower, going back to bed, meditate….. And all of those tricks are the ways I try to resist what is. Sometimes they are ways for me to find my center so that I can be present.

Can I celebrate my fear, sadness, anxiety, frustration, in the same way I celebrate the feelings I like? The difficult days hold a gift too. The dark days allow me an opportunity to reframe. I don’t know why I needed to drive into town yesterday; maybe it was simply to have space. I wonder how different it would have been had I simply loved the experience rather than my rail against what it was.

I too work with a coach. I believe that all people deeply involved in working with people need to stay clean, meaning that they also need to work on their stuff. We spent time talking about the addiction to the idea that our lives should be perfect or at least flow in the way we imagined. She reminded me that Michael Beckwith asks the question, “Are you practicing the Presence or the absence?”

It is so easy to get stuck on what is missing in our opinion and perception. Often when I am fully “in it” I have a hard time remembering to let go of what I think “it should be” and just really look at what is right here.

How do you do a bad day well? My growing edge is to consciously practice the Presence no matter what shows up. Some days I am better at it than others, and so I give myself grace in my learning curve.

Last Tuesday night during Conversations for the Soul call we shared and talked about dealing with difficult emotions. If you would like to join us, please click this link:

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Life is easy until it’s not. Walking in faith in the dark times is important work. It speaks to our relationship with faith. It is always ease to a fair weather friend to yourself and others, and it takes courage to look what is squarely in the face and be with it.

Join us for Conversations for the Soul; leave a comment or sign up for a class. Life is a journey, and homesteading our inner landscape is hard work…. Let yourself be supported.

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Until next week,

Happy trails,

leeann_sg