Reflection

Posted by LeeAnn on January 25th, 2010 at 03:52pm

So… it is the end of January. Let’s take a moment and pause for reflection. Have you stayed true to your passion, play and stretch? Have you joyfully lived these past few weeks? Or have you run up against yourself?

Either way – It is perfect! When we say YES to life, sometimes there is a little shedding to be done.  All the things unlike what we want show up.  It can feel like we are taking 2 steps backwards to every step forward.  It really is OK.  In order to cross our finish line we have to be willing to let go of our unconscious patterns of behavior.

Up until now I have had a life struggle with my weight.  I have treated my body like some offending interloper who I couldn’t get rid of or control.  I made the commitment this year to fall in love with the body I have.  I decided that my contribution to peace on the planet was being at peace with my physical self.

So I decided to simply be in relationship with my body.  As of January 1^st I began to listen. I slowed down enough to feel both the emotion and the physical sensations my body wanted me to hear.  In doing so I have made myself really vulnerable to feelings I would rather deny or ignore.

I began by tuning in and giving my full attention to my body.  I scanned from head to toe feeling my way through the process.  I found some things that are hard to feel – shame, judgment, sadness, betrayal, and more.  I remember when I was in grad school and one of the instructors said that you would be free when you can appreciate and play the full range of the emotional keyboard rather than a few repeated keys. It has taken me several years to both get it and to give myself permission to have the full experience.

I am going to ask you to reflect on these past few weeks.  I am going to ask some simple questions and share my results with you.

What went well?

I have made a conscious effort to be mindful, gentle and self-aware of my relationship with my body.  My clothes are fitting a little looser, but more importantly I have honored moving my body in some way every day.  It is has not been by force, rather I have chosen a variety of physical activities and not pushed.  Up until now I was a body bully and my body was in full revolt.

What was difficult or didn’t go so well?

I had to remind myself that this is a relationship.  I forgot and had to re-inspire myself.  I haven’t enjoyed feeling those old emotions.  I did discover I am really good at distracting myself.  I felt like giving up a couple of times.

What do I want?

I want physical freedom.  I want to get back to feeling physically like an athlete.  I want to trust the messages from my body instead of blocking and ignoring – that seems like an awful lot of resistance.

I want to feel joy and sassy… in new ways. I have always had a sassy attitude!

I do like that it has gotten easier.  My knee feels better.   My body does like yoga.

So we are moving in to February.  Take a gander at your dream or vision board or journal.  Anything you want to add?  What 20 things can you let go of – Beliefs? Thoughts? Stuff?  Lighten the load and get ready for month 2 of this brand new year.  If it is going to be a new ending it is up to you to stay on track!  Give yourself an atta’ cowgirl for where you are today.  Remember this is about awareness, consciousness and gentleness.  Being at war with ourselves doesn’t bring peace.

Dig out your intention or manifesto – dust it off – Let it be your guide for the month!

Thoughts?  Ideas?

Until next week,

The Divine Cowgirl

(Photo Credit: camil tulcan)

Be Sociable, Share!

• 

Tags: deeply listen, following your heart, introspection

Under Divine Cowgirl+ Inward Journey+ Relationship+ With our bodies+ With ourselves