Breaking Free

Posted by LeeAnn on April 12th, 2010 at 01:38pm

I have been in bondage and didn’t even know it. For years I have beat myself up trying to lose weight only to have it come back with a vengeance. I have even joked about no longer trying to “lose” the weight because it then tried to find me… Rather to release it to serve someone else!

Over the past couple of weeks I have been reading a book that has given me some wonderful answers and “ah ha’s” about emotional eating – Shrink Yourself: Break Free from Emotional Eating Forever by Roger Gould.

I remember the story of how baby elephants were trained to be chained at a very young age. As an adult, the elephant could have easily up-rooted the chain or broken free, yet because of its young experience, it never challenges being captive. The animal was powerless to fight for its own freedom.

After reading the book I realized I had made some very early assumption that have lead me to feel and act powerless over my weight and emotional eating.

In my family, food was not seen as fuel for the body, instead it was an expression of love. It was also solace, comfort and a way to stuff down emotions that threatened to leak out and were deemed unacceptable, like sadness or fear or even anger.

Unlike the elephant, there was no chain around my leg and I was still bound by my inner critic who gladly warned me of possible catastrophic results if I tried something new like actually feeling my feelings.

I am discovering through the exercises in the back half of the book how to respond differently to my fears and doubts and instead of giving in to my powerlessness, I am discovering reframes and new possibilities.

Freedom is the gift I am giving myself this year. I am putting my courage to work in new ways. I wonder what ways you have chained yourself to assumptions, beliefs or stories that have held you captive long after some experience you had? Are you willing to give yourself the gift of freedom?

I’d love to hear about your journey – what are you discovering?

The Divine Cowgirl,