How about freedom?

Posted by LeeAnn on April 5th, 2010 at 10:59am

I remember reading Sondra Ray’s book – The Only Diet There Is – 20 years ago.  I was so busy trying to figure out who I was supposed to be in my 30’s that the impact of the book didn’t really hit me. I don’t know who or what I was trying to please, but it wasn’t me.  I certainly didn’t take the time to ask myself if I had legitimate needs or even know what a legitimate need was.

You could say I was driven. I worked two full time jobs – I ran a 20-horse full service barn and either ran a work-training facility or taught school.  I never took the time to ask myself if I was lonely, bored, sad, depressed or even if I felt self-doubt.  Wasn’t it narcissistic to ask yourself those questions???

I used food or caffeine to power through exhaustion or stuff my emotions. I never considered my body a sacred temple that allowed me to engage fully in this big, beautiful life.

The horse-training world doesn’t necessarily give you confidence in being a woman.  Somehow changing the tire on the horse trailer or coming to agreement with a 1000lb colt doesn’t always give the outward picture of femininity.

So here I am in my 50’s making new decisions about how I want to be in the world with my body image, my idea of athleticism, and discovering a new relationship with food.

Last week I asked you to notice your way of being with food and movement – what did you discover?

This week I would like you to consider a few of Sondra Ray’s ideas:

The journey I am taking this week is about freedom – freedom from my past limitations.  I am willing to fall in love with myself.  I am willing to be at peace with myself and to treat myself with love and appreciation.  Are you?

I am willing to forgive myself and others for any and all misperceptions.  One of my favorite spiritual teachers, Edwene Gaines says: “Think of forgiveness as emotional housecleaning.”

This week I invite you to make a list of all the people or events in your life that need forgiveness – sort of a forgiveness inventory of your life. My list was long, even though I do a regular forgiveness practice.  Remember forgiveness is about freedom – YOURS.  It is time to lay down the baggage.

I think this is a perfect conversation after Easter.  The resurrection is about new life.  Forgiveness is about giving over bondage.  And I know that what I hold for others is what I hold for myself.  I want a wonderful life; therefore I have to want that for others too.

Here is a possible forgiveness prayer and visualization:

___________ I let you go.  I forgive you and I forgive myself for the mistakes made between us.  I know that we are doing the best we can. I know that all of us have participated in unconscious behavior.  I fully and freely release blame, shame, guilt, judgment and hurt.

I now see you as happy, healthy and free.  I see you enjoying your life and fully supported and nurtured in all ways.  I see you at peace, joyful and filled with life.  May you be blessed.

(photo credit: belgianchocolate)

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Under Relationship+ With others+ With our bodies+ With ourselves