Wandering in the Wilderness

Posted by LeeAnn on April 19th, 2010 at 10:47am

One of my favorite Biblical characters is Joshua, not because he was a warrior but rather because he used his wandering time in the desert as preparation for his Promised Land experience.

Have you ever found yourself in a “wandering” experience? A time when you were in transition between one level of consciousness and a shift of some core beliefs?

Our lives are built upon stories, assumptions, perceptions and beliefs. When we begin to shed ideas and beliefs that no longer serve us, we may find ourselves in our own wilderness experience while we prepare our consciousness for accepting new ideas and “truths.”

Over the past couple of months, I have been tearing down my stories about who I am as a women; how my body responds; what my temple needs in order to be healthy and vibrant. I have been learning about the ways in which I have been behaving as though I have been powerless and I have been giving myself permission to vision what my physical life could be. In the process I have run into huge choirs of inner critics. I had no idea that I had been so programmed by the racket in my head.

To combat the noise I have been tuning in to that small still voice. I have been practicing the fine art of trust. My human experience has made me wary of any sort of trust. Certainly I had learned not to trust my intuition or my “gut.”

As a spiritual cowgirl, I have had many experiences of faith and trust, but I have never totally trusted an intimate relationship with Source. I think I have had a fear that Source would be just another version of my human encounters and when I needed to turn to someone the most, they would disappear.

Why is this important as I develop a deeper relationship with my body? Because the more I trust myself, and the more I trust Source, the more I relax into my belief that the Universe is truly supportive; the less I need to defend or act like a prey animal waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I am in the middle of a transformation with my body. It is going to take some time to fully align my body with its natural size and shape. And as I wander in my wilderness and prepare my consciousness for a new experience, I am preparing myself to receive what I now know I deserve and will allow into my life.

I can only have what I believe or mentally accept. I now claim, accept and receive a new relationship with my body and food. It may be tentative and a bit new AND like all new relationships, I am still in the process of discovery.

So what about you…have you ever had a wilderness experience? What did you learn?

Until next time,