Do you Connect?

Posted by LeeAnn on June 21st, 2010 at 08:58am

What does it mean to connect? What does it really mean to be present to other people or animals?

Horses and I have a wonderful partnership.  We are on a mission to assist humans in the art of connection and relationship.  Connection is really about an intention to be fully present to another creature. It means to set aside our stories; our preoccupations; our navel grazing if you will, and discover who stands before us now.

When I work with a horseperson, usually they are so focused on the task – or the agenda they want to accomplish, that they forget this is a living creature not put on earth to be their tool in getting what they want.  That includes using the animal or person to “be seen” in certain ways such as “I am now somebody because my association with you gets me…….” (fill in the blank)  It is called using another for a vicarious experience.

While giving a lesson the other day, I had a student go through the motions of connection without actually connecting.  They had told me the horse was fussy.  What I saw was a horse that was filled with anxiety.  The rider told me the pervious trainer expected lightness from the horse.  The problem was that the horse had no idea what lightness meant other than to avoid punishment.  In essence, connection had never been established, the “lightness” of touch was really fear.   The horse was hyper-vigilant and trying to anticipate rather than respond to a request.

Do you create expectations that have other people avoid rather than lean into your partnership?

We worked that day on establishing relaxation.  We worked on the horse allowing the rider to establish contact with hands, seat and legs as the foundation of communication.  As we focused our work on connection, both the horse and rider relaxed.  Without connection, there is no possibility of partnership or in establishing a learning relationship.

Do you connect?  Is connection important to you?  For a week notice all your relationships – are you really connecting? And how does the relationship change when you are fully present for connection?

Happy trails,

(photo credit: Richard Messenger)

Under Relationship+ With others