So what is a learning relationship?

Posted by LeeAnn on June 28th, 2010 at 08:39am

One of my heroes is Col. Alois Podhajsky. Podhajsky is remembered most for saving the Lipizzans and preserving their history following the war.  Before WWII, the Spanish Riding School tradition and classical dressage had been an oral tradition; Podhajsky created the written documentation to preserve this ancient tradition.

What makes him my hero is his dedication to learning and learning relationships with both his students and his horses.  In his late 80’s he reported he learned something new every time he rode his horses and he looked forward to each new understanding.  I hope I can be such an open learner for my time on earth.

“We must live for the school. Offer our lives to it. Then, perhaps, little by little, the light will grow from the tiny candle we keep lit here, and the great art—of the haute école—will not be snuffed out”.
-Alois Podhajsky

Learning relationships are, in part, a dedication to connection and relating to living creatures. They are about our willingness to be 100% accountable for the flavor and direction a relationship takes.  From Martin Buber’s “I-Thou” work; learning relationships are always coming from the point of view that I treat another as a “Thou” rather and an “It.”  Learning relationships are relationships of equals. There is no marginalization, no emasculation, no objectification, and no entitlement; there is only curiosity and connection.

We need each other to grow and learn.  We need to learn from our blind spots and our impact that we have with each other.  To learn we must come to the relationships with a willingness to learn and a willingness to lay down our defenses. We also must be willing to investigate and lay down our stories and even our histories and come to each new encounter with fresh, soft eyes.

Think for a moment about the person that you have a difficult time with.  Is it possible that you have never stood in their shoes?  Is it possible that you have spent more time in “judge’s robes” than in a curious relationship? While you may not agree with their story, your job is to simply witness and listen without the need to help, fix or condemn.  Learning relationships are really about discovering who you are and what you are made of.  Learning relationships allow us to see our beliefs, attitudes, judgments and reactions and make decisions about who we want to be with others.  It is opportunity to step up into being a conscious adult.

Do you learn in relationship?  Do you try and make the other just like yourself?  Are you willing to hang up your “judge’s robe?”

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments!

Happy Trails,

(photo credit: BrianScott)

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