What Do You Think About Pleasure?

Posted by LeeAnn on August 30th, 2010 at 08:00am

This photo captured my attention because at one time I loved showing in the Pleasure Division of horse shows. It was thrilling to take a big, high stepping horse that enjoyed showing off through its paces. I worked hard to keep the experience fresh for the horse. Later as a trainer who shepherded ten to sixteen riders through a weekend horse show, I found more relief when the weekend was over than the pleasure of experiencing a horse at play.

Victoria Castle explores the difference between pleasure and relief in her book – The Trance of Scarcity: Stop Holding Your Breath and Start Living Your Life. She makes the distinction that “relief takes me in the opposite direction from pleasure. Instead of becoming more alive, I move to being more numb.” In contrast, pleasure requires that I know what I enjoy and what moves me.

There was a time in my life that all I sought was relief. I wanted to numb out because I had created a situation in my life in which joy wasn’t present. I found myself doing what everyone else wanted but had no idea what I loved or was drawn towards. In seeking relief I found myself digging a deeper and deeper hole of quiet despair. I was going through the motions and not taking a stand for being fully alive.

It took putting out the red STOP sign and taking time for me to slowly discover what makes me come alive. One of my “alive” pleasures is the horse. I have returned to my deepest love in a new way. I am finding ways to play with my four-legged friends. I have given myself permission to experience what I have always wanted for this relationship. In the return to the horses on my terms, I have allowed myself to open to my dream of providing retreats for women with horses (both for women who have horses and for those who want to experience a horse). I have committed to creating play for myself and others.

When do you feel most alive? What calls to you? Are you allowing true pleasure in your life or just relief?

If you are interested in more information about upcoming Divine Cowgirl retreats, both private and group, email me at The.Divine.Cowgirl@gmail.com and I will be happy to share up information with you!

Happy Trails,