Being Transparent

Posted by LeeAnn on May 2nd, 2011 at 08:00am

I began what I thought would be a 52-week journey in January of this year and what I have discovered is that I am immersed in a trek in my own wilderness starting with my last birthday. It appears that it is a major transition and I have been caught unaware. And now that I have awakened to what is happening, I would like to share what I am learning. I had a reader tell me that she had been missing my voice, that she appreciated my writing from before. I wondered what before meant. She said when there was more of me in my writings. The funny thing was that I thought I was sharing. And in a way I was and in a way I wasn’t.

My life over the past couple of years has had an unsettled quality to it. It is not just that I am providing elder care for my mom; there is something calling me to come out and take a stand. The question is a stand for what?

In relaying my journey up to this point with a younger woman, I realized that while my early life was about not accepting what the culture told me I had to take and who I had to become, somewhere in the middle I got tired. I became a horse trainer when I was told on many occasions that women can’t handle stallions because they might excite them (To this day I can’t believe a man actually said that to me).  That I couldn’t become a vet, because women just didn’t become veterinarians or at least that was the opinion of my old male advisor in undergrad school (That was in the early 70’s and one of my female students has become a fabulous vet). I chose not to get married nor have children of my own (My aunt was convinced that there was something wrong with me because that was the job of women. Implied was ‘that is all women were good for’). I remember being turned down for a CEO position because I was too young, too aggressive and a woman (The board member was adamant that men worked in business and women didn’t belong there). I became a New Thought – non-denominational minister to assist in expanding the feminine expression of God (God is NOT an old fart with a long beard, bad attitude, sitting on some cloud with a red pen taking notes on who has been naughty or nice.  That is an evil Santa Clause).  God is not a patriarch.  God is the Nature of ALL things and that includes the feminine expression of God’s nature (Ok so I won’t start Bible thumping; I’ll save that for another conversation).

The mission of the Divine Cowgirl is to heal the hands that touch the future. To do that we have to end the obedience model purported by egotistical humans (I do mean both male and female) and move into a new frame work of responsibility. It is time to end dependence and independence and move into a model of interdependence.

I can’t explain all that has been unfolding from within over these past few months, I just know that I have been on a journey into Soul Country℠ – I have been contemplating, journaling, reading, and in some ways waiting for what has been germinating to come forth. What I claim is my Divine Feminine Nature and all that represents. So if this post speaks to your heart, stay tuned. If this post is not your cup of tea, so be it. I trust that all paths lead to new understandings – sometimes in spite of our resistance.

I have listed the books that have touched my soul in the Divine Cowgirl recommends section…  If you have a suggestion for what I might find interesting to read next, email me.

It is funny as I am transforming my body by allowing it to let go of excessive weight, I am unwilling to allow hiding in any areas of my life. Up until now I have not used my title as an ordained minister. As of today I claim my spiritual knowing and stand for the Divine Feminine expression of God. What are you willing to claim? What have you been hiding that you are willing to a stand for?

To new unfolding,

Rev. LeeAnn

The Divine Cowgirl

P.S. – The horse journey continues and I will be sharing more this month. Also I am planning a “beta” retreat with horses in the fall. I will be offering a reduced price in exchange for specific feedback about the program. Stay tuned!

(photo: thefost’s)

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